This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Starting a Genocide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops