did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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