What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

save me from the nothing ive become

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

i cant STAND cripple jokes

Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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