Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops