Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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