Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops