What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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woman's rights

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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