A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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you see theres this guy.

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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