Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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black people swimming

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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