What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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penis

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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