A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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I literally died laughing

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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