You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

What do you do at a club? You club.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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