Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops