how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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