One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops