What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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John Cena for president

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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