Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops