What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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