Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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test test

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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