why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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