What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Mooses

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops