Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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