How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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