How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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