Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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