A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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