A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

Who's on first? Garvey.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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