you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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