What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Your mom went to college

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops