How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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