quantum physics?

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Poop

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Women's rights

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops