What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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Women drivers...

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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