why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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