what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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