There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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