Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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