Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The duck didn't cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops