What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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1+2 = 6

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops