What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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WILLYS

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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This isn't funny.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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