What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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