You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops