What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Granny porn!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops