Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops