Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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