Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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