What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

Justin Bieber

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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