What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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