a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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