Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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