whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops