Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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