Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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