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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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