If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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69

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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