There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops