Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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