- Anti Joke

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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