What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops