What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops